A REVISIONIST HISTORY OF ST. PATRICK'S DAY
or
Why There Are No Norwegians In Ireland
 

We celebrate March 17th in commemoration of St. Patrick's
grand and noble deed of driving the Norwegians out of Ireland.

It seem that centuries ago many Norwegians came to Ireland
to escape the bitterness of Norwegian winter. Ireland was having a
famine at the time and food was quite scarce.

The Norwegians were eating almost all the fish caught in
the area, leaving the Irish with nothing but potatoes.

St. Patrick taking matters into his own hands like most Irishmen do,
decided the Norwegians had to go. Secretly he organized the IRATRION (Irish
Republican Army to Rid Ireland of Norwegians).

 Irish members of IRATRION sabotaged all power plants in
 hopes the fish in Norwegians refrigerators would spoil, forcing the
 Norwegians to a colder climate where their fish would keep.

 The fish spoiled all right, but the Norwegians, as everyone knows to
 this day, thrive on spoiled fish.

 Faced with failure, the Irishmen sneaked into the Norwegians fish
 storage coves in the dead of the night and sprinkled the rotten fish with lye,
 hoping to poison the Norwegian intruders. But, as everyone knows, this
 is how lutefisk was introduced to the Norwegians and they thrived on this
 lye soaked smelly fish.

 Matters became even worse for the Irishmen when the Norwegians started
 taking over the Irish potato crop and making lefse. Poor St. Pat was at
 his wits end and finally on March 17th he blew his top and told all the
 Norwegians to go to HELL, and it worked. All the Norwegians left
 Ireland and went to Minnesota.


 



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